...

I guess its normal to feel however your body leads you to feel
Normal to hurt and cry
Normal to not be understood-
Abnormal to sit and take it and fake it like everything is all good
Soo normal to just put a smile on and not deal with things like you should
Normal for me to feel inadequate- beneath you and know why
Trying for it to be normal for me to question myself why-
Why me and why do I feel the way I feel…
Questioning myself and my God constantly trying to figure out if its real
I don’t understand why things switch when emotions get high
I don’t understand why we cant work through things as humans and mature adults… why
Even as your heart gets heavy and you feel yourself about to cry
Don’t dry your eyes-
We’ve all been taught not to let ppl see you sweat but when you’ve met ppl in your life that you care about so much,
Its too much to have to cry alone—
Especially when they are your shoulder to lean on
And what happens if that shoulder breaks—
Instead of finishing out my feelings and trying to heal I immediately try to fix the shoulder
Umm interesting
I wonder why ppl try to front like everything is sooo easy once you establish friendships, and relationships and create beginnings…. Never anticipating the ends---
Truth is its easy to click as friends… hard to maintain the relationship
But if it were easy it wouldn’t last long because the true meaning would be lost.
If you fake as if everything is right and fight one night your through.
But if you honestly sit and talk it out with your boo that you claim to love it will bring you closer.
Its okay to cry but not ok for you partner not to ask why.
I think that’s ignorant
Everyone wants to be comforted and everyone make mistakes
Its what you do once you’ve made the mistakes—
Don’t make them again.

To be continued.

I am alive and well...
thanking God for each breath that I take.
Trusting in him has made breathing easier...
taking one day at a time--
the future is mine through christ.

Right now i want to cry--
I want to be alone to comfort myself...
I want to pause and think about life and what it is that im missing.
Is the path that I am on the one I am supposed to be taken?
Maybe I should reevaluate the choices im making
Maybe God has a different plan for me so instead of moving i should be waiting--
patiently--
waiting to hear his voice
only he can calm me
& its time to let him do his job...

UP

Oh how you make me feel so warm inside
A summer’s day with autumn’s breeze wrestling with me like trees and leaves
The birds and bee’s have gave me a new tune
The hums and buzzes and chirps have helped revive me
Renew me & bring life to me
Nature never questions me—just relaxes me.
Oh it knows me so well- not a story I tell—its true you see.
You are you and I am me.
Beneath the trees I may hide
And all of the emotions that I feel inside are safe
Such a serene place.
Its warmth relaxes me. Breeze cools me…
I want to be where you are.
Invisible but always there—
Hot but you’re not getting burned…
Growing, but never trampled on—
Reproductive; but only when its time.
Humble and honest.
I want to be natural
Smoother than peanut butter on a spoon-
Cooler than lemonade on the hottest day ever
More DIVA red then the famous Kool Aid your granny makes
Slicker than a snake & more affectionate than a mother with her cubs.
I want to get out of the nest and fly
Do things my way—open my eyes and try.
The wind is ready for me. Waiting for me to just lift my arms-
Then the breeze will carry me
And I will drift away
Like the balloon you let go of and it floated upward and rose into the clouds.
Hopefully I will find that balloon and throw my own party and I will invite everyone in heaven- if they have spare time.
Come with me… I will give you a lift.

Sometimes you have to be ok with riding-
you see- if you let someone into your life, both of you cant drive...

you either have to take turns or submit.
My advice is to make sure the person you've paired up with can drive...
it will help make the ride a lot smoother.

dont worry about the car- focus on whats under the hood.
remember- even a hooptie can take you from point a to point b.

in the mean while, pull the visor down- peep at your self in the mirror and say "DANG!! Im gorgeous.!!"

It will make you smile.
& you will begin to laugh on the inside...

A note to teens

The body relaxes as it sees fit—
After doing many tricks-
It’s quite divine
Such a powerful tool- no rules to break or follow
But – it can break you
Have to do what’s true to u, feels good to u—so u won’t loose u (yourself) in the mix…
Don’t get it twisted, its great- but not greater than the wait…
U wait and then appreciate the sacrifice
Don’t rush through life
Makes u think twice about it after its done
Refuse the tongue—
let your desires play out in your head-
Not the bed.
Relax & just chill
Enjoy the moment while keeping still…motionless, not heartless-
Know yourself & set standards
Don’t drop those standards
Drop those who don’t uphold them
Hold your head up high
And think with your mind
-not your body...

...[ =) ]....

It’s not even about sex- or life itself. Everybody has one—does one or somebody… idk why people choose to lay down before they are wedding bound but -- hey.



It’s about love and living

It’s about seeing the inside motives proved by the body’s actions on the outside

Looking in its a mirror that can see your reflection

An infection that makes you have the urge the desire to try harder to obtain more..

Love grows… heart beats… pulse increases like boom boom

Time zooms by you when he’s away but when I’m with him time stays in place

It waits for me.

It waits for us to make our move

As we have done and continue to do time and time again

I’m going to win; we are going to win this love game… this time.

Tell me what’s on your mind…

Do u mind if I make you mine forever…

We can be each other’s forever- stay together until time finally stops

Until the heart stops beating or until u stop feeding off my love—

It’s enough to feed you- please you, comfort you & keep you…

I will let you lean on me anytime...

I dare to look into your eyes and watch your eyes tell me that you love me- without waiting for
your mouth to move.

You understand me—totally.

Without any ifs, ands or buts-

But sometimes you disagree and at first it was hard for me but now I respect our disagreements…

That’s why we make such a great team

And as funny as it may seem I feel that you are my first love

I can’t think of another way to describe how I feel for you...

Whether we are out in public, home chilling or just us too-

Alone- thinking each other’s thoughts and completing each other’s sentences.

You complete me and you fix my grammar with no hammer—you’re tough as nails… solid as a rock

You’ve built our relationship on an awesome foundation and I am glad that you are the man that you are…

My shining star mid day-

My feelings never sway

Even to this day I feel like our love is new-

Ever renewing itself-

Very fresh.

And even when you lay on my chest and I kiss your forehead—you still manage to comfort me when im supposed to be tending to you.

It’s sweet.

Like a treat that you never get tired of eating.

I will never get tired of our love.