relax

I laid my eyes on you and immediately my body wanted to do the same with you but I held back,
Contained myself and conducted myself in a way that wouldn’t make you say
Oh, she’s fast…
Because im not…
Im human, I get hot and what not, but yo-
Its cool.
It means im alive and well.
Its unnatural to not have feelings…
natural to have needs and wants to be pleased
And I want to please you…
Something I will do
In due time

Im not going to rush into things-
In fact im content with swinging on swings and doing kiddie things just because I care
I care soooo much that im cautious and move your hands up when they are near there…
I have to show you im worth it- not easy
Because if I were easy it would be worthless to get to know me… pointless perhaps…

I have to see what type of man you are
What type of man you want to be
And how would ur life be if it includes me-
Freedom to express emotions, free to love, free to care…
And then as time goes by when my eyes look there and your hands are near there it will mean something
And u will let my eyes wander, and you think about letting your hands roam- you wont touch me… u will just breathe…
And I would come to you, near you, close to u… lay my head on your shoulder and put my hand on your chest…
Then you will know I care.

feelings...

And when I saw you and how you’d grown over the years
It made me want you even more
I had always had an eye for you,
Tried to keep my eyes off of you
But my heart belonged to you
And my body knew
That someday, one day, I would be able to show you how I feel…
How I really feel
Aside from what you assumed, what you doubt, and what you don’t expect
But what I feel for you is not about sex, not about appearance, or what it looks like to be with you on the outside…
Its about the things that exist when all else fails… you know, issues from the heart
And the deeper we grow I know that what im feeling is real,
So natural that when im looking at you face to face- we can relate
It cant be fake… not this time.

The library

Entering the building its thousands to choose from
Each one different
Some are the same
Some have similar names and some are copies…
Some came in hard, others soft…
Some sooo used and abused you can’t tell how it came in.
You assume you know just by appearance everything it processes inside
Or sometimes you measured it up from the back
Sometimes you just eyed it for size, seeing which one looked like it wud be something you can handle in the time you allotted for it.
Each day you would look, until finally you found one… and I was the supposed lucky one.
You picked me from the others…
I was naturally hard, sort of used, clearly abused…
but u wanted to give me a chance
Aside from the heart ache and pain you picked me up,
Laid me down in a special room for just you and me…
You opened me up,
You read into my every word…
Ur fingers traced my spine… and u fingered all the lines that my words made…
U flipped all my pages, sometimes holding spots u wanted to get a better feel for, or just simply wanted to come back too.
You would finish for the day, and the next day come back to me…
And this time you brought ur crew so they could do the same thing u were doing to me and I was doing to u.
U gave me passion while I gave you knowledge…
You took me places ive never been…
I let ur imagination build upon all I had to offer u…And when u finished with me it was ok, u passed me on to someone else,
Bc u knew they too needed a good book to read...

thanks for checking me out..::

© T. S. Thorpe

to hold u again

Oh wat i wud give to give u a kiss
or just to say hello
look you in your eyes and tell you how i feel u know
ive held so much in, time and time again
trying to figure out where i stand in your eyes
i never thought it would come to this or that I would actually miss you.
in my mind i try to figure out where i went wrong
how things still fell apart even though i thought our love was strong
i guess i was wrong
i thought that maybe you werent feeling me but i forgot to give u the ok
never wanted you to stay
if u didnt love me, or need me...ive always wanted you to be happy but i guess you never believed me
truth is i wished you would have fell in love with someone else, so it would be easy for me to get over u
but because you leave things so open ended its hard to condense these feelings i feel for u
always felt for u
ur like or were like a dream come true
and oh what i would give to hold u again
wrap u in my arms, keep u from all harm
and them maybe
u never wuda died
and a tear would never had fell from my eyes

I am the only thing that stands in your way to get to me.
No matter what weapon you form,
or words u conjure up in your head,
I truly am the only thing that stops you from getting to me.
But I don’t want you to stop coming for me.
You see, YOU are what I aspire to NOT be.
You are my example of all the WRONG things-
in life that I have to disassociate myself with…
Imagine that
me actually knowing your schemes,
Knowing your lies,
Knowing all the tricks you were going to try…
EVEN before you try them…
And those are facts!
Because as long as you step feet forward to get me, you leave tracks…
…the tracks that u won’t see from under my feet –
bc I have a God that carries me…
Ooooh if you had someone to carry u…..um
Wow. That would be great
And im sure u wouldn’t make those same mistakes…
Mistakes like messing with a child of God…::

T.S.Thorpe©