sigh

I was reading a book
A book about a story
A story about a woman who didn’t deem herself much as one
Who would rather be by herself than accompanied by one
A person like her
She really wasn’t open minded
And I actually find it
Weird that I even read that
And shared this
But it was an experience that made me miss
The old me.
See the new me closely identifies with this girl
This girl from the story
The story of my life
Written, documented, text.
Hard-facts
No going back
The attention is gained
But the fact still remains that I lost her
And never knew how it would affect me until I saw what it cost her.
Throughout the whole story she was running away
Running away from pain.
Abuse. even love & affection
Running away from life…
Running away from herself& as she ran she went places that I go
Or have went
Settled down on a park bench-
Wrong move…
It took my mind there
When it wasn’t anyone there
But… us…
Us and a car that was developing rust-
Over the back wheel
The car had been in an accident
An accident indeed
As it was an accident to be parked there now
Under the covering of trees…
Alone
Evil crept out and hung on me like a warm blanket…
Everyone likes to be held…
I cried though
And as she began to go through things, same things that I had…
I cried more-
Quickly trying to turn the pages in the story, the story in the book…
The story of my life-
Can’t wait…
For a brand new chapter…
So many chapters its sooo hard to maintain, organize, put chapters to names-
I’m ashamed…
Of my past and how my past dictates my future…
Afraid to admit that I am running
Still running
From u.
From me..
From u –
the person who still has that hold on me, the warm blanket of evil…
Kept me quiet, muffled my cries and moans and groans
Made me comfortable in my weakness… covered all emotions
What a loser.
What a loser to think that I can’t overcome
After all… the girl, the girl from the story inside of the book did.
She did and as she ran-
She ran all the way to a dead end
A wall of silence.
She pledged to herself she would never talk about it or what she had been through…
But I guess she overcame because I’m telling you.…

incomplete

© T. S. Thorpe 2008